Wow... so i guess it's actually been a 'lil over a week and half now. It feels so much longer than that.
Leaving the States and arriving in Ecuador has been a lot different than I thought it would be and has taught me a few things. I'll just start with the weekend before leaving.
Departure/Arrival/Day 1It still hadn't hit me yet that I would be leaving for a year, but I knew I wanted to spend time with the people who meant the most to me. So I procrastinated packing until Sunday night (I left Monday morning) and basically pulled 2 all-nighters with friends...trying to get all that last minute hang time in. I actually didn't finish packing until about 10 minutes before I loaded my things in the car. And I wouldn't change a thing about that weekend. It definitely made me realize how truly amazing my friends are and how much I am cared for by them. But it also definitely made leaving that much harder. The airport was tough. I'm not sure when I stopped crying, but it was sometime before my first flight ended. It finally hit me as I was turning the corner past security and realized I couldn't look back and see them anymore, and wouldn't be able to again for a year. I then turned into a hyperventilating mess and worried just about everyone I passed on the way to the gate and in the plane. The guy next to me actually moved over a seat to give me some space! Flight 1 consisted of mourning my loss. Flight 2 consisted of looking to the crazy adventure ahead. Flight 3 (final flight) was pretty much pure prayer through knots in my stomach. My welcoming at the airport was a lot different than I expected. I thought that pretty much as soon as I got off the plane, my family would be waiting with a big "Welcome to Ecuador, Heidi Pancratz" sign, and there would be lots of smiles and excitement and miscommunication. And they did have a sign, and there was a lot of miscommunication. But it went more like this. Get off the plane. Excitement. Excitement. Fill out some immigration paper work. Wait in a line for 20 minutes to give the paperwork. My nerves kick in and my face and ears start getting hot. Literally, it was about 45 degrees outside and nearly that inside (no one has heat or air here, not even the airport) and I'm sweating! After the line, I try to find my luggage, (still haven't seen my family yet) try to figure out how to rent one of the luggage carriers, but cant speak spanish, and then somehow find my family in a huge mob of people. Now I'm just fatigued. No more excitement. But I managed to smile when I met my family, even though they were slighty peeved because I was about an hour later than I said I would be. The drive home, all I was thinking was, "MY SPANISH SUCKS!", and "how am I going to show them who I am?" Once at home, I got the royal tour. And this house is so amazing! 4 stories, but small stories. I have my own room, which used to be their son's room (he's in Germany doing the same thing as me). I felt pretty special though, because they changed the bedspread to a girly one, added pink and stuffed animals to the room and had 25 beautiful roses waiting for me! I knew at that moment I would be loved and cared for here. My new sister, Emily took me up to the rooftop terrace to show me the view...and it's beautiful at night! The lights roll over the hills and mountains, shimmering like gold. We had dinner with some aunts and uncles and cousins (which happens quite often, I love it). It was lasagna and salad...so my idea of what the food would be like here was already scewed. lol Later (dinner wasn't over until 1 a.m.) I sat with Emi in her room, looking at lots of photographs of high school musical, The Jonas Brothers, and Jesse Mccartney (She's 15). I'm kind of pretending like I like them for now until we're close enough to break it to her lol.
Family:Since my first day, things have been pretty great. My family is really patient with me and my spanish, and are extremely hospitable. Always asking me if I want more food (which if you know me at all, you know is important), always involving me and wanting to know what life is like in Tulsa and if I have any pictures. And they let me call them Momi and Popi!
Food:The food here is quite different than in the States. Everything is fresh and home cooked. No processed food! It's fantastic! I love all of it, except the dairy products. They have a very distinct taste to them that I'm trying to get used to. I have found that Ecuadorians LOVE their cheese. I thought
I loved cheese, until I was asked to try cheese in my fruity desert. Seriously, they eat it with everything. We have big breakfasts and even bigger lunches, and then snacks around 7:30. It's a wonderful idea, eating at the right time of day. And we don't go "grocery shopping" because there isn't a grocery store. There is a separate tienda for all the food. (which is part of the reason it's all so fresh) My favorite food so far...I actually forgot what it's called, but its chicken schishkabob with this special green salsa/garlic/avocado sauce. It's delicious.
Time:One of the best things about being here is having time to do all of the things I've always wanted to but never had the time for. Such as reading! And writing. Lot's of journaling going on. And having the time to contact people I don't usually get to. PLUS...once school starts next week...I start GUITAR LESSONS, DANCE, AND KARATE!!! I'm psyched. But I actually have to get good grades and try in my classes to stay in them...which I wasn't planning on.
School:So school hasn't started yet, but I've gotten my uniform. And I look ridiculous!! Pictures soon to come on the first day of school lol. But I had to have my skirt tailor made because I'm so tall, and plain white tennis shoes for P.E. ....well, they don't even make my size here. So I'm wearing men's tennis shoes, and the sweatpants I have to wear for P.E.... also aren't made in even nearly my size, so I'm wearing the largest boy's size that still fits around my waist...and guess what? They're not long enough lol. Oh the joys of long legs and big feet. So that should give you an idea of the general size of people here. I am stared at almost constantly, like "who's the North American giant?" but it's all good. I think it's pretty funny.
New Friends and Church:About 4 days in, Aunt Pauli and Uncle Steve came in town from Shell, Ecuador.
"Hola, Tio Steve! Como estas?"
"Hi, Heidi! I'm Good. We're glad you're in Ecuador!"
"Wait...you speak English?"
...So I have an American Uncle...who's a missionary here. God is good.
He's married to the sister of my host mom and they have 3 wonderful children. Spent most of my time with their girls, seeing as their little boy was first scared of me, then loved me for 10 minutes, then kept trying to hurt me. lol and they say women are moody? But their time here was awesome!! I got to speak some English, which at the time was like winning the lottery, and they took me to a church not far from the house mostly made up of English-speaking missionaries in Quito!! And the church has a ton of service and mission opportunities, including many involving children (yay!!) and they have a "20 somethings" Bible study group that meets every week, which will be a great opportunity to meet some Christ followers my age. ...Did I say God was good?
I have a friend!! His name is Sebastian, and he is terrific! He also speaks English. We got to hang out the last couple of days, which has been so great! He took me to the Pantecilla ...I think that's what it's called... which is a big statue of the Virgin (with wings...which I didn't know she had) on the top of a mountain. It's awesome and the view is fantastic! Later we went to Quito Antigua, which is a very European looking area of the city. It's beautiful! We got to walk around and take pictures and go into some freaking amazing cathedrals... but better than the things that we did, he has truly raised my spirits. I have more peace being here and it's cool to know if I have a problem or need someone to talk to...he's there for me. : ) I'm going to his church this Sunday, and we're taking the bus! yeeeuh. It's supposed to be quite the dangerous experience aqui.
Loneliness:So a few days ago (before Sebastian), I was pretty down. I was supposed to be at the 20 somethings Bible study, but instead ended up sitting through a 2 hr visit with my counselor, which ended up being a 2 hr visit between my counselor and my family..because I couldn't understand anything they were saying. I was really frustrated with my Spanish. I had been going through cycles of being really excited because I was learning quickly, then getting sick of it, then realizing I don't have the option of being sick of it, then getting depressed (with my spanish), and all over again. This night... was a depressed night. All through the "visit" I was thinking of everybody back home and how much I missed and wanted to talk to them. Who knew you could feel so lonely surrounded by so many people? Praise God for skype, facebook, and music! I have never appreciated my ipod more. The music just brings me back home. It has truly kept me sane. (Thanks Nate and Sol!)
And then there are always those moments when you realize that God is right there and the only reason you're lonely is because you're choosing to be. Yeah. : )
Thoughts:I woke up the first morning I was here, looked out the bathroom window, and freaked. The mountains were right there! I ran up the stairs to the rooftop terrace and beheld this gorgeous work of God's creation. It has been the perfect spot for watching the sunset, spending time with God, and just thinking. One of the things I have learned since I've been here is that life is always...life. I thought when I got here that my whole life would change and somehow I would feel different and it would be this huge exciting adventure consisting of going rock climbing and exploring everday. ha. Yeah, life is different for sure. I get up in a different room in a different house in a different city in a different province in a different country in a different continent in a different hemisphere every day.. I will be going to a different school.. I have a different family.. I'm speaking a different language.. I'm eating different food. Yeah, things are different, but life is still the same. G-d is still the same. I'm still the same person. I don't suddening feel different, and I definitely don't go rock climbing every day. For sure, this is a new chapter in my life, but I think I'm realizing that new chapters are only new circumstances or surroundings with a more mature and wise outlook than the last.
I've been reading Judges for a few days now, and realizing how incredibly gracious and just G-D really is. Ehud was one of the judges of Israel, and it says that during his lifetime, Israel
generally did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but sinned as all men will. They offered sacrifices for their sin, and were forgiven. But when Ehud died, they went back to their old ways of "grave evil" one commentary said, and did not ask forgiveness. So Yaweh sold them to King Jabin of Canaan, and they were under his oppression for 20 years. THEN,....."then?" I ask myself.... they cried out to the Lord for help. And he sent Deborah, another judge, to rescue the people.
So what I take from this is that
while Israel was following the laws Yaweh gave them, at least for the most part, and asking
forgiveness and making things right with their sacrifices when they
did sin (price of sin is
death) then everything was good. But as soon as their sin stopped being covered and started
growing "grave" in the eyes of Yaweh, stuff turned to crap. hmmm...sounds just to me? And
even gracious, because they weren't dead. They endure their crappy life for 20 years until
they decide that maybe now would be a good time to ask for help, and Yaweh loves them so
much, he sends someone to rescue them. Even though they didn't ask for help for 20 years!
Viewed in the eyes of a romantic relationship--Your spouse cheats on you. More than
once. You forgive, but it keeps happening. And now they're not sorry. How bad would that
hurt? DIVORCE the man/woman!! Then after 20 years of unappologetic divorce, your
ex-spouse remembers how wonderful you were to them and wants you to dig them out of
their self-dug pit. Do you honestly think you would even
think of considering helping them?
Heck NO!
...how good is Yaweh that he rescues us the minute we ask, and even
longs for us to ask Him back and to rescue us?
Currently missing: my independence, being able to plan my own day, driving, going out, and Chiropractic!!
Sidenotes:Rachel--I saw pink clouds tonight...thought of you! and people drive here like they do in mexico lol.
Momi called me "hija" today...that means daughter.... : )
Paul writing a letter to the Philippians:
"Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more things as i close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:5-8
".... Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little. i know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need."
Philippians 4:11-13
