Mi Fin de Semana (My Weekend)

Spanish Classes
I had my last day of fairly useless spanish classes Friday. We had to do a little drama, proving our spanish skills or our not-so-spanish skills for the rotary club. My group did the story of "Gallito de la Catedral" (rooster of the cathedral). Guess which part I got? ...Yep. The rooster. Did I mention there were costumes? It was nothing elaborate, but I still looked pretty ridiculous. And I forgot one of my 3 lines. But the classes were fun. They kept me busy. Oh, and get this. My mom wasn't able to take me to classes the first week and doesn't want me taking the bus alone, so asked my friend Sebas if he would take. Sebastian lives an hour away. So here's how his schedule went. Ride the bus an hour in the morning to the North (where I live) to go to his music class, ride it back home for lunch, get back on for another hour to my house to pick me up, ride it again 3/4 of an hour to my spanish classes, WAIT for me for 2 hours during my classes, 3/4 hour bus ride back to my house to drop me off, then another hour back to his house. !!! !!!
what!?!--then he offers to do it again the next week. and did. and paid for all the buses.

Yeah. I don't have a lot of words for him.

clic the pic

Family
When I told my mom I wanted to start traveling on the weekends, she told me she would like to go too! which rocks--because then we'll take the car and not the bus and I'll get to spend more time with them. She also told me that if Emi (sis) ends up being an exchange student, she wants her to stay with my family in the States. I think that means she likes me : )

Normally with Rotary, exchange students change families at least once. But there's a possibility that if you ask to stay, and it's cool with your fam, you don't have to change. So Emily Told me the other day, "I don't want a new sister. You're sufficient for me, and you make me laugh." Granted--she said it sarcastically. lol But then I said, "Ouch, insulto?" and she reassured me, "no no no, seriously."
So I took it.
She's not exactly the sentimental type. Actually, we have a joke about how she has no heart, because every time we watch sad or touching movies, like Into the Wild, I get all emotional or really love it, and she just laughs at me and usually doesn't like the movie.
--sin corazon--

Mitad Del Mundo
We went on our first family trip last weekend to Mitad del Mundo, which is a city through which the equator runs. It wasn't quite as cool as I thought it would be to stand with one foot in each hemisphere. I kind of thought I would feel "pulled in both directions" or gravity would be different or something. Yeah, it definitely just felt like I was standing up.
Me and my dang expectations.
But it was still really fun! And we went to the top of an inactive volcano and looked down into the valley where the lava used to be. People actually live in it now. It's a pretty spectacular view.
Pictures soon to come. They're on Sebastian's camera.

New Friends
After Mitad del Mundo, I went to a meeting of jovenes (young people) with my neighbor, Diana, at her church. The group was a lot younger than the 20 somethings at the English speaking church, more like in college or right out of college. So it's a much better fit. (they're a lot more fun) And Diana can take me so I don't have to bother my mom with rides. Emi reluctantly came too, but ended up really enjoying it. She even went to church with me the next morning. After the meeting, we all went to a jazz concert in Quito Antigua. It was really fun, but some pretty embarassing stuff happened, and EVERY joke was on me.
First-
I had worn shorts and sandals to the meeting and didn't bring a jacket because all my clothes are dirty. Weeeell, it's cold here. And the concert was outside, so I ended up wearing the sweat suit of one of the generous guys in the group. Unfortunately, he's about 6 inches shorter than me and thinner too, so I was popping out of this sweatsuit and it only came up to my ankles. Highwaters and chacos. What a combination.
Second-
You know those people who pretend to be statues for money? One of my "new friends" pointed on of these out to me and told me I should go talk to it. I was like "sweet! I want to make him laugh." So I walk over as the whole roup watches.
... ...
It's fake. It's actually a statue. Thanks guys.
Third-
Could we stop with the boyfriend questions already?
Fourth-
We fit 6 people and 2 North Americans in a 5 passenger car. The whole drive home, they were cracking joes, majority of which having to do with me. If I didn't underatnd something--it was funny for them. If I Did understand something-- it was hilarious for them. Whatever. They're fun.

Thoughts
Life is good.
Life is really good.
But only because God is good.

Currently Missing
Late night "study" sessions with Catherine, Sean, and Andrew; TSAS

Sidenote
My lit teacher acts and even looks just like Ellen, and my math teacher looks and acts like Glover. Certain types of people must just be destined for such things.

Travels and Updates

Banos and Shell, Ecuador
I finally got to travel!!! Last weekend, I went to Shell, Ecuador, which is the same place "End of the Spear" was filmed and the history took place at. I stayed with my missionary tios (aunt and uncle), and they live on the same missionary base that the missionaries in the movie lived. Surreal. I hadn't seen the movie before, but I watched it in Shell and then got to visit all the places in the movie! It was really great. Ecuador is ridiculously beautiful and I can't say a whole lot more about it, because the pictures tell it better than I ever could. But let's just say that I probably saw more natural beauty on the drive to Shell alone than I have in my entire life. My tongue actually went numb--NUMB--from awestruckness. So yeah. Look at the pictures : ) (Click the pic for more)



School Updates
School is going REALLY well. I'm glad I'm only a Jr. here, because I think being so much older than everyone makes it prestigious to be my friend. Stupid--but seemingly true. We had a dance party in class the other day, and I looked at my schedule and realized it was during the time we were supposed to be having religion. Ironic?

So honestly, I feel like I'm going to explode when we talk about socialism. I wrote a full page of scattered thoughts during the discussion. I feel all stressed out and unheard like I need to SCREAM! Because I can't express my opinions or thoughts in Spanish and never know when it's a good time to chime in. AGH! I have so much to say!!

On a sidenote: Notebooks and erasers are scented here, and Winni the Pooh is the notebook cover of choice. haha.

Thoughts
Why would God create us? or anything for that matter? He doesn't need us, and if He's all knowing, he knew we would all screw up royally and bash his name and worship other gods. So...why? and if the answer is he was lonely, why not just make us perfect, or stick with angels? and how could he be lonely anyways if he's already 3 in 1?
I would love some input! But here's what I came up with after a few days of thought.

It's like the relationship between parents and their children. Why would a couple decide to create children? They don't need children, and they know that it's going to be hard and their kids are going to screw up and not like them sometimes and talk bad about them to their friends and for sure be a burden at times. So why? They're not lonely--they have each other.
Obviously, there are a lot of different answers from different people for this question.
One person said that having children is a celebration of the union of two people in love. So who God would be in love with before he created us? Not sure. But that's just one answer for why people have children.
(I found 6 references to us as children of God in la Biblia, and I'm sure there's more)

As far as making humans or angels perfect...
If we were perfect, and therefore couldn't do wrong, we would never do anything good because we wanted to do good and obey, only beacuse we couldn't do any different. Essentially, we would be robots. And I know I feel all fuzzy inside when a robot tells me it loves me.---it means nothing. It's like being the only woman alive. All the men are going to tell you they love you, but you're not being chosen above anyone else. You're it. You're all they have the option of loving. You're not special.
On the other hand, the man you choose is going to feel like king of the world--because he was chosen above all others. He is special.

So--Maybe God does need us. Maybe he just wanted to be loved. Wouldn't love want a lover?
(If God is love?)

Currently Missing
My Mommy, my Amy, awesome teachers like Jan O'Connor--for real.

Other recent PHOTOS

Rollercoaster

Talk about a roller coaster of emotions last weekend. I went from my highest point yet at the beginning of the weekend to my lowest point yet Sunday night.

It started Saturday. Something was different when I awoke. Things didn’t seem so foreign anymore, Spanish didn’t sound so different anymore, my family didn’t feel so distant and unattached anymore. I felt like I was---

Home.

The Ups (written Saturday)

Wow. Everything today has been surprisingly different and really fantastic. I hung out with Sebastian, and we spoke in Spanish...which I realized is the fastest way to learn, because if I screw up, he can explain it to me in English. He's also my human dictionary : ) We jogged a 'lil (because I'm seriously out of shape and not used to the altitude or hills) and started watching "Into the Wild"...which I LOVE. But I found that after hanging out with him, my Spanish was drastically improved. I could talk to my family and understand a lot more of what they were saying. Plus--momi was practically telling me to hang out and have fun today. I was like, "wha?" So I think I'm gaining some trust and respect!!
Tonight, we went to Abuelita's for some empanadas and cafe (pastries and coffee), and Emi and I were laughing pretty much the whole time. It was so great to connect with her. And then right before bed, I was asking if it was alright to volunteer after church tomorrow, and Momi said, "Oh si! No hay una problema. Esta bien!" Usually, I get a "well....let me ask popi." and then a "ok, I guess it's alright."

The Downs

So I started watching into the wild with Sebastian Saturday, but didn’t finish it until Sunday night. SO DEPRESSING!! I haven’t felt that bad after watching a movie since Tristan and Isolde. I think the overall feeling of sadness led me to dive into some deeper stuff I didn’t even know I was dealing with. I went to bed pretty much right after the movie, but couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about so much and ended up crying pretty heavily under the covers for a while, as to not wake the fam. I was thinking about how my host mom will randomly start crying when she looks at me because she misses her son, about being overwhelmed with the newness of everything and my Spanish, about how much I break the heart of my Savior everyday, about being so freaking bored sometimes… about missing my family and my sister, and my friends—and about how many things happen in a year and how long it really is.

I fell asleep eventually, though, and woke with a new frame of mind and then had a great day at school. So I think whatever I was dealing with that night worked itself out : )

"For He will conceal me there (His Temple) when troubles come; He will hide me in His sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. Then I will hold my head high, above my enemies who surround me." Psalm 27:5-6

Since the weekend, things have been even more fantastic with Emi and things at school are going really great as well. It's not boring anymore!! Thursday, I met a girl who lives in my barrio (neighborhood) who's seriously cool and took me to see 'Made of Honor' at the theater. It was a blast! And a college exchange student from the States came with. We had coffee at a Micky D's afterwards, and it was by far the highest quality McDonald's I've ever been to. It was set up like a real coffee shop, with glass cups and couches!
Also, I decided I want to start traveling on the weekends, and I think I've gained enough trust with Madre now that it will be alright. We'll see!

Funny Moments

Haha! My English teacher found out I was American Monday. Here’s how it went.

“Okay class! Today I will check the materials. Come up to my desk and show me your books. First, Andrea Garces! …Good. Alejandra! … Good. Aidy Pancratz!?”

“It’s Heidi,” I said, and walked up to his desk. He may as well have fallen out of his chair. The look on his face was priceless.

“Oh my goodness! I didn’t know that you weren’t from here! What state do you come from?”

“Oklahoma,” I said.

“Oh class, we are blessed to have an American English speaker here. Are you here the whole year?”

“Yes.”

“Great! You can help me with my English! Promise?”

Then he held his hand up kind of like a high five, but kind of like a ‘boy scouts honor’ hand gesture. So, in context, I took it as a ‘boy scouts honor’ hand gesture, and therefore did the same. (Mind you, this is all in front of the class.) Well—it was supposed to be a high five. By the time I realized, my hand was back down and his was still hangin’, So I put my and back up to give him the high five, just as he was putting his down! It was extremely awkward. But we laughed it off. He asked my opinion on everything after that and had me writing on the board and pronouncing things. I think he asked the class to give me a round of applause 3 times. So embarrassing.

I think the question I get asked the most by the girls in school is if I have a boyfriend. It must be a big deal to have a boyfriend here…and they know how to say it in English : ) Even my teachers ask me!

Thoughts

I’m starting to realize I can’t live without Him. That my heart aches and my stomach hurts when I haven’t spent time with His or heard His voice. That things are not right in my world when I haven’t acknowledged Him. That I feel hollow and empty without His embrace and gentle nudges. That I truly LONG to praise and thank Him.

That all I want to do is

Bask in His beauty and serve Him.

Pictures of Weeks 1 and 2

First Few Days of School

Oh, highschool...
I know somebody was praying for me Tuesday, because I couldn't have had a much better first day of school. I didn't sleep a wink the night before, some things never change. Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous though, just really excited. Maybe it's because I've already been through the process, but then again, maybe it's because all the kids in my class are 15 or 16. lol I feel like they all think they're really intimidating, giving me these looks like I'm the weird kid that doesn't belong. One girl actually asked me today if i was afraid of her and her group of friends. It makes me laugh. : )

Day 1
So...I got to school Tuesday morning and realized I'm a head and shoulders taller than everyone--which doesn't help to hide the fact that I'm the American exchange student and explains all the staring! I now know how people in wheelchairs must feel, only instead of people looking down to see me, they're looking up. And let's just say that the uniform here was not made to look attractive on the tall. To add to my overall appearance of oddness, my mom decided to hold my hand and walk me to where my class was gathering (even though it was clearly marked). I looked like such a dork, but it was sweet of her : ) As soon as she left, a group of about 6 girls came up to me and asked if I wanted to be a part of their group. I was very much blown away by how inclusive and inviting they were. All through orientation, they were asking me questions and trying to get to know me. It was pretty great. We had a few classes the first day, and the teachers all made me introduce myself first and say why I chose "sociales" (social studies) as my focus. And I had to explain that I didn't choose anything--in spanish. It was tough. There was lots of laughter. That's one of the differences in the highschools here, that at 16 years old, you have to decide what you want to specialize in. It's like a major--for highschool. And I've heard that if later you want to change your career path, you have to go back to highschool! So my specialization is in sociales. Another difference is that instead of the students changing classrooms, the teachers change and the students stay put. My butt goes numb after about the 2nd class.
I met a girl named Michelle who understands English and speaks a 'lil who's helping me quite a bit. She ate lunch with me and even paid for my food! Plus, she's already invited me over for dinner sometime. So I'm doing ok in the friend department : )
All my teachers seem really cool and are apparently really funny. My classes are really interesting subjects, giving me incentive to learn Spanish quickly. Most of them are things I want to study in college...so I'm sure as soon as I can understand what they're talking about, school will be a lot less boring.
(List of my classes: Literatura, Ingles, Economia, Filosofia, Historia, Educacion Fisica, Sociologia, Computacion, Geografia, Religion, Economia, Matematicas, Dirigencia)
Today in geography, there was a serious debate about the new constitution they're trying to pass here. It was crazy! People were up out of their chairs and in people's faces arguing their point. I really wish i could understand and throw in my opinion. I love that kind of "class participation." lol
But back to day 1, I met the only other exchange student at my school. He was pretty easy to pick out, being a tall, blue eyed, and blonde amongst a bunch of short, dark, and handsomes. He was standing with a group of students when I introduced myself, and then they all went silent. They were saying things like "Shhh!! Listen! Let them talk!" as though we were some show on t.v. and something really important was happening. I really wish that we had had some foreign exchange students at TSAS, because then I would know what it's like to be on the other side of all this, and if what I'm experiencing is normal. Oh and get this...my school bus, is a mercedes-benz!

The Students
You know those "popular" people who pretend to be your friend so other people will think they're nice but they really dont give a crap about you? Well, they exist in Ecuador, too.
The students here are extremely "clickish," and I've found Ecuador has a very touchy culture. Everyone plays with each others' hair in class, and a greeting is a kiss on the cheek. I love it though. Physical affection happens to be one of my love languages.

Dress Code
The dress code is ridiculous. Not only do we all wear the same thing everyday, but your backpacks, purses, and even hair ties have to be black or blue. We're also not aloud to wear makeup or Jewelry and our hair can't be distracting. What Ayn Rand hater decided we should rid ourselves of every hint of individualism?

Homework (meh heh)
The past few days, I've been trying to decide whether I'm going to do the homework or not, because I've already been assigned two books and two papers. None of this counts for credit because I'm already graduated--so the only point in doing the work portion is to maintain good enough grades to stay in extracurriculars; however, my lovely mother informed me at lunch today that she talked to the monjas (nuns) and they said my grades don't matter for the first trimester. YEEUH. Second tri, I hear there are a lot of vacations, and hardly any homework, and third tri doesn't matter because grades don't come out until it's all over! I'm set.

Funny/Interesting Moments
There was a great moment yesterday where I was sitting at my desk, day-dreaming, when I realized everyone had turned to look at me and was laughing. Good friend behind me taps me on the shoulder and lifts my hand for me. The teacher had asked if there were any new people and I totally missed it. So when everyone turned to look at me, I was staring off into space. ha.

Today, my English teacher was trying to describe the word "host" to the class. lol The context was, "I bind myself to God's host to secure me against the snares of demons." So it's talking about angels, right? Well the teacher told the class that it meant "a person who visits us." I'm thinking ..."you mean a guest?... as in the opposite of host?...and in the wrong context completely?" It was pretty funny. He also said the definition of lust is "great enthusiasm for someone or something." Well...let's see here. I have great enthusiasm for dance? and Jesus? Does that mean I'm lusting after dance and Jesus? English class is fun. I understand things : )

Thoughts
In the States, I have total and complete freedom. And a car. So i can go wherever I want, whenever I want, and I don't have worrying parents back home, because they trust me. Aqui? Not the situation. My mom here is convinced that I will get robbed if I ride the bus or take a taxi alone. I can't even go walking alone! In broad daylight! In my neighborhood! Seriously, I understand taking precautions and knowing your surroundings, but it's not that dangerous here. Sure I could get robbed on the bus, but I understand the concept of holding your purse with two hands in front of your body, keeping things zipped, and not pulling out anything expensive in front of people. Seems like common sense to me? ...and I'm 18. Come on. Let me out of the dang house. But anyways, I tend to trust and respect people when I first meet them, but I'm learning that with most people, trust and respect--and therefore freedom--come very much, if not totally, from your actions. It is a gained thing. My family here does not know who I am, and I haven't had enough time to show them who I am with my actions, and definitely not with my words. So I understand the situation....it's just difficult. I think God is teaching me how to be submissive and how to better be under authority. It's all those dang submission prayers in DNA last year lol.

I keep expecting that one day Spanish is going to sound like English, but I have a feeling it will always sound different : )

I realized today why it takes forever to go anywhere. There are no highways!

If you look like you're doing something interesting, people will come talk to you. It worked twice today!

Currently Missing:
My freedom, running, driving, yoga, Jessica, sleepovers.

Sidenotes
Would've been nice if someone had told me I was supposed to bring my own toilet paper to school.

I love Proverbs. It's like opening a bunch of fortune cookies.
Proverbs 14:12
"There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death."